Wanted to share this, it’s a great message for today!
Originally posted on hopeharbourforthesoul:
Hey girl hey !
How are you folks doing ?? I hope you’re life is functioning as smooth as mine is , at the moment. :)
A friend once asked me , how do i manage to remain cheery even after a bitter and hard day .
The above quote truly justifies my reply.
You never know what kind of life people live . Not everyone’s life is a bed of roses . Life will never go on , the way we want it to be. At times , we feel there are more “lows”, than “highs” in life.Just a kind word , a sweet gesture or a smile from our side can brighten up their mood to a totally different level .No matter how shitty their day must have been , our kindness can lift up the gloom from their life.
Every small gesture counts. Remember to be kind…
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It is time to embrace who you are, and time to start accepting your body!
Easy right? If it were easy, we would have no need for photoshopped magazine covers or eating disorders (hmmmm just dreaming of that world for a sec).
Lets get started loving our bodies!
It’s not easy, but I have a few things you can try. These are the tips I use when I am struggling with negative body image.
Here are my top 10 tips for better body image:
Admire people for what they do, not what they look like-
Who are your role models and why do you like them? Do you like them because of the way they look or because you appreciate who they are? Look for good role models that are concerned about the world, people, or their talent, instead of being fixated on their bodies and looks.
Make a list-
Take some time to make a list of the things you like about yourself. Don’t focus on how your body looks, focus on the amazing things your body does for you – breathing, running, dancing, etc. Also, write down the things that reflect who you are. Put down as many things as you can. This might be hard at first, especially if you do not feel good about yourself, but keep trying until you have something written down. You can always add to the list. There are many wonderful things about you. Some ideas- maybe you are a good writer or a great friend, maybe you’re funny, good at football or great at doing yoga.
Eat your fruits and vegetables. When you feed your body good foods, your body responds in a positive way. For normal growth and development, you need to feed your body nutritious foods. Be a teen, eat your pizza and fast food sometimes, but throw in some veggies.
Exercising for at least 30 minutes a day can lower your stress, improve your sleep and improve your overall attitude towards yourself. We are not talking about hard core working out, just get your bodies moving. Get up and dance, go for a run, or play basketball with some friends. Find something that you like and start moving.
Don’t use negative self-talk-
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Don’t fill your own head will negative thoughts. When you look in the mirror, give yourself compliments. Read your list out loud while looking in the mirror. Tell yourself that you are worth it and that you love yourself. Yes, as awkward as it is, do it, say “I love you” to yourself. Put notes on your mirror to remind yourself that you love you and you are beautiful.
Don’t believe everything you read or see in the media-
There is always a television show or magazine telling you how you should look. These shows and ads have a purpose: get you to buy their products. Their goal is to make you believe you need what they are selling, so they try to convince you that you have something wrong. No one is perfect, not even the people in ads or magazine pictures. They have good lighting, great editing, and Photoshop is their best friend. Stop believing them. Look for articles that highlight all body types, ones that celebrate everyone.
Walk away from the mirror or put down that magazine–
I know I said in tip 6 to look in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself, and you should. I know I also said in tip 5 to simply just ignore the magazine ads that are negative, and again, you should. However, sometimes it is just not that easy. Sometimes you are going to have bad day where it’s hard to look in a mirror, it’s hard to stay positive. Don’t worry! Don’t feel bad, we all have those days. On these days put down the magazine that is bothering you. Step away from the mirror. But as you do that, remember it’s just a bad day. You can still say you love you and still know that you and your body are worth loving.
Put filters on your ears and mouth-
Put filters on your ears in case your peers say anything negative. Do not let negative words get in your head, don’t soak it in. People talk, people will always talk, usually because they have their own insecurities. This brings me to putting a filter on your mouth. Watch how you talk about other people. Remember you don’t want to be judged and neither do they.
Confidence is such an important part of maintaining a healthy body image. Work every day at learning to respect yourself and your body. You are less likely to be-harmful to yourself when you respect your body. When you leave your house in the morning or walk into a room hold your head up and believe in yourself. You are beautiful.
THE NUMBER 1 TIP IS!
DRUM ROLL PLEASE!
This is the biggest tip of all. BE YOU! You are the only you. You will be with you forever so respect yourself and treat yourself well. Embrace who you are, embrace your body.
Appreciate and respect all that your body can do.
Celebrate instead of hate!
Start accepting your body!
“You protect your being when you love yourself better. That’s the secret.”
- NBL V -
I came home from my friend’s house the other day to find my journal on my bed. I always keep it hidden so I knew my mom had read it. I flipped out, screamed at her and have not talked to her since. My whole life was in there, why would she do that. Now what should I do?
- Privacy Gone
Dear Privacy Gone,
It is hard having your privacy invaded, but don’t let that ruin your relationship with your mom. You need to talk to her and find out why she read it. Have you been hiding things from her? Parents need to know what is going on in your life. When they feel shut out, they will go to any measure to find out what is going on, because they love you and they are responsible for you. If this is the reason, make sure you share some things with your mom. Let her know how your life is going so she won’t feel the need to go snooping.
If she has no reason and just decided to read it, then talk to her about respecting your privacy. Let her know that you will share things with her, but sometimes you just want a private place to write your own personal thoughts. Ask her not to read it (yes, that should be understood, but maybe it wasn’t).
Definitely find a new hiding place. Don’t stay mad too long. Parents do crazy things too.
Who am I?
I am someone who has hated myself and cried.
I am someone who has been happy and laughed aloud.
I am someone who has been confused, wondering who I am, or what I am doing.
I am someone who has had it figured out, but most times not.
I am someone who has been a good friend and a not so good friend.
I am someone who had been jealous and needy.
I am someone who has been depressed and has self-harmed.
I am someone who has loved, been loved, and lost love.
I am someone who has been myself, then tried to be someone else and then myself again.
I am someone who wakes up every day to start over, or wakes up excited for another day like the last.
Who am I?
I am you! I am her! I am him! I am me!
I AM HUMAN
We all breath, we all bleed, we all hurt, we all feel We are all human.
My BF and I have been dating for about 9 months. We have been having sex for about the last three months. So far he has always worn a condom, but now he doesn’t want to. He says it doesn’t feel good. We did it once a without one I didn’t feel the difference during sex, but I worried I would get pregnant. Thankfully I didn’t, but I still worry. Does it feel better for him and should I just be ok with that?
If you are going to have sex, he needs to wear a condom. No matter how it feels to him, it will feel a lot worse if either one of you gets a STI (Sexually Transmitted Diseases – General Information) or an unwanted pregnancy. You should make it very clear that you will not have sex unless he is wearing one.
Here is a site with a lot of helpful info. Teens Condom Tips
STOP hating your body! START loving yourself!
Keeping a healthy body image can be a challenge.
Body image is how you view your body. It is how you believe your body looks.
There is always a television show or magazine telling you how you should look. They are ready to give you tips and instructions on how to have the perfect hair and makeup or the perfect body. They try to make you feel as if you need to do this to look “right,” or to be accepted. Everywhere you turn there are flawless (photoshopped) pictures of celebrities trying to reinforce that if you’re not perfect, you’re wrong. Even your family and peers can say things that make you question the way you look and feel about yourself.
You are worth loving.
When you’re a teen your body and emotions go through a lot of changes, changes you might not have control over. There are some you may like, some that may just be an annoyance, and some you may absolutely hate. Maybe your three inches shorter than your friends because you haven’t had your growth spurt yet. Maybe you have “blossomed” over the summer, but your friends haven’t. Maybe you have been working out, but all your friends have bigger muscles. Maybe you’re just right, but you don’t see it that way so you have an unhealthy body image.
You are worth loving.
I “blossomed” way earlier than the rest of my friends. While they were still wearing training bras, I was trying to figure out how to actually contain mine. My friends were all jealous and the boys loved it, but I hated it. I hated those two big balloons that were suddenly there. I had always thought I looked fine until they came, then my body image got all screwed up. I started thinking I was fat just because they puffed out my shirt more. Then I realized my self-talk was to blame. I got a better attitude, figured out which shirts looked best on me, and felt better about myself. They just become a part of who I was. They weren’t a negative thing, just a piece of me.
You are worth loving.
How you look at yourself and how you talk to yourself, (your self-talk) determines how you feel about yourself. It creates your body image. Sometimes our self-talk distorts things and it may not have anything to do with your actual appearance. Your self-talk can have you thinking you’re bigger or smaller than you actually are, that your skin color is not right, or that your nose is too crooked.
No matter what body shape you are
No matter what color eyes or hair you have
No matter what your skin color is
No matter how tall or short you are
No matter if you’re the first out of your training bra
You are worth loving. You deserve to love yourself. You are worth protecting.
Every part of you is worth caring for. Once you understand that, you are on your way to a healthy body image.
It can be challenging to look in the mirror and not see flaws. Especially when everywhere you turn someone or something might be saying you should be different from what you are. It’s not easy to maintain a good body image, but it’s important to have confidence and to treat your body with respect. Having good self-talk is an important first step to having a healthy body image.
- NBL V -
I turn 18 in 3 months and I’m getting a tattoo. I’m getting 3 butterflies on my shoulder. I have always wanted one, but my parents said I had to wait till I was 18, because they would not consent to it. I’m so ready to get it except one thing. I have heard horror stories about it getting infected. How easy is it to get an infection and how can I avoid it? I really want to get my tattoo.
Dear Butterfly Girl
Getting a tattoo is a big and permanent decision so make sure you have really thought it through before you get one.
After your tattoo is finished, the tattoo artist will give you instructions on how to take care of it. Make sure to follow all of their instructions to avoid getting an infection.
Leave your bandage on for 3-5 hours unless they tell you longer. After the bandage is removed, wash the area with warm water and a mild anti-bacterial soap. Use your hands to wash it, because anything else can be too harsh. Gently pat dry with clean paper towel. Allow skin to air dry and then apply the anti-bacterial ointment your tattoo artist recommended. They will probably tell you to do this 3-4 times a day for about 4 days.
Remember showering is fine, but do not go swimming or take baths for about 2-3 weeks.
Scabbing is normal so do not pick or scratch because this can lead to infection.
Until it heals, check it and see if there are any changes like a rash, swelling, or discharge coming out of the tattoo. If you see anything like this it could be an infection, call your doctor to get it treated.
Before you jump in and get a tattoo, research different tattoo artists. Make sure they do the style you want and talk to them. Ask them all of your questions. For example, ask about after care and how long they have been tattooing. Ask them to show you pics of their work. Make sure the studio is clean and that they sterilize everything. Ask around and see if other people have used them.
Again, think this through. Remember it is a permanent decision!
I am so angry! I am so sad! I feel like a #loser. I am soooo disappointed! Do I just suck? UGH
All of these thoughts rushed through my mind recently. They hit me hard and lived in my brain longer than they should have. They were there for a good reason, or so I thought….
It all started with a writing competition. I love to write, but not just here (although I love this too) but I like creative writing (poetry, short stories). Two years ago I found this writing competition for creative writing and decided to enter. Everything that I entered won! I was beyond excited, crazy person excited. So, I entered again this year.
I wrote a story! I spent a ton of time on it. I worked really hard getting every piece right and I was super excited about the way it turned out! It was my favorite story that I’ve written.
All that work and my favorite story won NOTHING! Nothing? NOTHING!?
I was heartbroken! Beyond disappointed. Remember the beginning of this blog? Well, when I found out I lost; I thought all of those things. Here’s a recap if you forgot: I am such a loser! I suck! UGHH! I literally threw myself a pity party for like a week. I blew up pathetic imaginary balloons and everything. I know, super dramatic, but it’s true.
It hurt me because it changed the way I saw myself. Before the big loss, I thought I was a pretty good writer, but after… I was convinced that I sucked.
I didn’t want to write any more. But I LOVE to write so of course I missed it. Then I started thinking about the life lesson I blogged about last week and I knew I had to decide what I really wanted and make a choice. So, I started writing again. I started facing the fact that things didn’t go the way I wanted and I began to realize that it was okay. It didn’t feel okay at first, but it actually was.
I put way too much importance on a competition. I wanted someone to judge me, but only if I got the answer I wanted.
I realized three important things.
Competition can be fun if it is for the right reasons.
What is the point? It started out as a way to have fun, to get feedback on my writing, and push myself. Win or lose, those reasons shouldn’t change. I actually had a lot of fun and I learned about my writing style.
Losing shouldn’t change the fact that you love doing whatever it is you do.
Losing shouldn’t change the fact that I love to write! I let the results of one competition take it away the simple fact that writing makes me happy.
The most important thing I learned was the outcome doesn’t change ME.
I let the loss seep into my mind and bully me. I let it convince me that I have no talent. But it isn’t the end of the world and it doesn’t mean I have no talent. Maybe I have things to work on, but I am still a writer.
Now that I have had some time to get over myself I can see that you will not always get the results you want, but it doesn’t matter. I put myself out there. I learned something. And I got to do the thing I love: write! Someone’s opinions do not change who I am and they should not change the way I see myself or my talents. They can give me things to work on and think about, but they do not mean I suck and they definitely don’t make me a loser!
I would definitely do it again! I’m not gonna lie, losing is hard….really hard, but it opened my eyes.
I have more confidence in who I am now. I guess I’m not a #Loser after all.
Has anyone out there lost something they put their heart into?
How did you deal with it and what did you learn?
- ttfn G -
I really want to work in fashion, but I don’t know where to start. I love clothes, I read all the fashion magazines and I am constantly trying new looks. All my friends ask me to shop with them and to pick out their outfits. I’m 18 and I just graduated high school. I’m taking a year off before I go to college because I want to figure out exactly what I want. What should I do?
There a so many different jobs in fashion. You need to see what you like and what you don’t like. A great way to do that is to intern. There are so many opportunities for internship in the fashion industry. It will give you a chance to see what it’s like and to soak up tons of information. You will have an opportunity to talk to different people and get some good advice. Although it will be exciting and fun, it’s still a lot of work. Interns have to do mostly grunt work and jobs they don’t love, but in a fascinating environment. Don’t be discouraged if this is not an area of fashion you love, at least you will find out what doesn’t interest you. You can then look for what you love.
To find an intern job, start by checking out fashion websites and fashion magazines. They always need interns.