I Don’t Want People to Think I’m Mean Like My Friend


I’m tired of people thinking I’m mean like my friend K. She is my best friend and I love her. The problem is K acts like a bitch. Like she’s mean to people. Not to me, but pretty much to everyone else. People are not her thing. Everyone thinks because I hang out with her I’m like that. I feel like I’m always defending her. Telling everyone if you really knew her, she’s cool. I’ve asked her to chill, but she won’t. I’m so not like that and I don’t want other people thinking I am. She thinks it’s funny, but I don’t. What do I do?

Not Me


Hey Not Me,

Not fair! People shouldn’t judge you off your friend K’s behavior. You’re not her! You have your own identity.


You also don’t need to defend her. She has her own identity, too. She decides how she treats people. You may want people to see her differently, but that’s not up to you.


You cannot change other people’s behavior. You can change how it affects you.


When they assume you are mean


Brush it off! Let it go! Move on!


Truth is, they’re also being mean by judging you unfairly. So don’t let it get to you. YOU know that you are a nice person. If they can’t see that then that’s on them. Try finding people to hang out with that see you for you.


When K acts mean


Brush it off! Let it go! Move on!


In that moment, asking her to chill gives her fuel to keep going. No one wants to be told what to do, especially in front of other people. Plus, you can’t control how she acts.


Instead, try having an easy relaxed convo with her when the two of you are just hanging out. Let her know how you feel. Tell her that you support her as a friend, but you don’t support her actions towards other people.


It’s possible that she feels nervous or insecure around people. Acting mean could be her way of coping. Encourage her to talk about why she’s mean.


Ultimately, she will do what feels right to her. You don’t have to agree with everything she does just because you are friends. Don’t worry about changing her or other’s opinions of you. Just be yourself!


Post originally published on The Hope Girls

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My Friends and I Need Ideas We’re Bored


My friends and I are bored. Here’s the deal. My best friends and I hang out every weekend. There are six of us and we are all 15. We all go to the same church and all of our parents know each other. It’s great except that they won’t let us go anywhere. We can stay up late and do pretty much what we want it just needs to be at one of our houses. So, we switch houses each weekend. We really don’t care, because our parents are pretty cool, we’re just bored. We usually just watch a movie. Ideas please!



Hey Bored,

Hanging out with your best friends, every weekend sounds great! The being bored part, not so much. The key to ending boredom is thinking outside the box.


Let your creativity go wild! You and your friends will come up with something new and fun.


Here are some ideas to get your creative vibes started. 

Revamp your movie night

Give the night a theme and match your movie and snacks to it.

For sweet-cutesy movies, have ooey-gooey deserts. For an action flick, you could have spicy foods that have a “kick”.


Have a game night

Have each person bring a game. Make it into a friendly competition. You can play as individuals or split up into teams.


Costume party

Everyone can come dressed as anything with one exception: no wearing normal clothes. Then give out some awards, like best costume, or funniest, weirdest, most unexpected, most creative etc.


Karaoke Time

You don’t need to be singers. Messing up and not sounding like Beyoncé makes it more fun. Don’t forget to do some duets and a group sing along.



Have everyone bring their fav candy. Use them as toppings to make dessert pizzas. For the crust, you can use pizza crust, cookie dough, rolled out cinnamon dough or anything you like.


Open mike night

Everyone takes a turn performing. You can sing a song, do a dance, tell jokes, or share a funny story.


We could keep going, but that should get you started.


Don’t put a limit on your imagination. Take any of these ideas and bump it up a notch with your own unique twist.


Have everyone write down their ideas and throw them in a hat. At the end of each weekend, pick something new for the next weekend. Then you have all week if you need to prepare anything.


Have fun!


Post originally published on The Hope Girls

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Should I Change My Hair Back?


Should I change my blue hair color back to brown? I just recently dyed my hair blue and I love it. Well… I did love it. Now I’m not sure. My friends keep making little comments. Like oh yeah it’s “something”, or when are you dying it back. I laughed it off at first but now I am feeling less confident. Maybe it looks bad and I should just go back to brown. What do you think?



Hey Q,

Your friends need changing, not your blue hair.


Okay, that’s a little harsh. But the truth is, your friends should support you. They don’t have to like your blue hair, but they shouldn’t make you feel bad about it.


When you look in the mirror, how do you feel? That’s what matters. If you love it, rock it!


The next time your friends make a comment, answer them with confidence.


If they say “oh yeah it’s something” answer with something like, “yes it is and I love it”.

Or, if they ask when you’re dying it back, tell them you will change it when you are ready.  


 Once your friends see that you’re happy about it, they should let it go.


Wear your blue hair loud and proud. Do you!


Post originally published on The Hope Girls

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He Cheated! Now What?


I just found out my boyfriend cheated during our first few weeks together. I had no idea. It was with his old girlfriend and he swears it was only once. He said he wanted to see if he still had feelings for her. He says he is so sorry and he regrets it because he loves me. We’ve been together for 2 years. I’m not sure how I feel. I love him, but I’m angry. Every time we start messing around, I think about it. I really love him and he hasn’t done it again. Should I break up with him?


Hey Betrayed,

It’s a shock to find out your boyfriend cheated. Right now, you’re angry and need time to process. That’s okay. He broke your trust. You have every right to be upset and confused. Take some time to figure out what you want. Listen to your mind and heart.


Cheating is not necessarily a deal breaker, but it is a big deal.


We can’t tell you whether you should break up or not. You’re the only one who can decide what is right for you. We can suggest holding off on “messing around” until you know what you want. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Listen to yourself.


Do you think you can forgive him and let it go?

To stay together and move forward, you have to let it go. Having this on your mind all the time is not good for your mental health. Plus, your relationship won’t work if you are always upset with him or worried he will cheat.


If you decide you want to move forward in the relationship, be open and honest about your feelings. Talk to him. Keep the communication open. Work on strengthening your trust. It can take a while for things to “normal” again


Truth is, you may never be able to get past this. He made a mistake, and you don’t have to be okay with it. You are not responsible for his actions. We know you love him, but it takes more than that to build a healthy relationship. The idea of breaking up is scary, but sometimes it’s the right choice.


Remember to listen to yourself. It’s okay to try and work things out with him and it’s okay to leave. You get to make this decision. We’re sorry you are going through this.  

Post originally published on The Hope Girls

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My Parents Won’t Give Me Money

NO MONEY ASKS, A person carrying shopping bags after spending money

I need to go to this concert and tickets go on sale in two months. I don’t have enough money to buy tickets so I asked my parents for the money. They said no because they already give me a big allowance and I should have enough. Are my parents serious? They’re kinda being ridiculous because they know this is my favorite group and I will seriously not make it if I can’t go. I could have the money, but I have to spend it. My friends and I go to the mall every weekend and I always spend my allowance on clothes and jewelry. I have already bought the perf outfit to wear to the concert. Do my parents really think I can hang out with my friends and not buy stuff? I don’t want to look poor. My parents need to give me the money. How can I get them to do it?

      – No Money

Hey No Money,

Seeing your favorite group in concert is awesome!

Expecting your parents to pay is not so awesome.

Your parents are serious.  They already give you a big allowance.

It’s up to you not to spend all of your money.


Don’t let it get you down. You can make this happen!

The tickets go on sale in two months. You have time to save. Figure out how much you need for the ticket. Then decide how much you need to keep out of your allowance each week. Here’s the important part: stick to it! Before you know it, you will be singing along to all your favorite songs at the concert. You and your parents will be happy.

When you go to the mall, only bring the amount you can spend. The rest stays home to save. If there’s something you can’t live without, go back and buy it after you buy the tickets.

Another way to save is by taking a weekend off. You can do it! Skipping even one will save you money. Taking a weekend off does not have to equal no fun. Have your friends over for a spa day or binge watch Netflix. Have fun together away from the mall and away from spending.


Tell your friends you’re saving for the concert.


We don’t think they will look at you any differently. Say you are showing your parents you can be more responsible.

You can do this! You might even find you like saving and having extra money. It gives you the freedom to do what you want, like go to that concert. You will feel so proud of yourself. Bonus your parents will be proud too.

Post originally published on The Hope Girls

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Healthy Relationships: Things You Should Be Doing

Your heart flip-flops when your eyes meet.

Fireworks go off every time you kiss.

The world looks brand new.

Time doesn’t exist.

You know what I’m talking about.


Being in a relationship can feel like magic.

You want to spend every minute together and when you can’t be together, you stay up all night texting.

You never run out of things to talk about and everything they do is sooo adorable. When you’re together, somehow it all makes sense.

All together now…awwwwwww!

When it is just the two of you, the world around you disappears.

It all sounds pretty amazing, but how do you make it last? How do you turn fireworks and butterflies into a strong healthy relationship? Short answer: it takes work.

Sorry to burst your adorable little bubble, but it’s true.

Healthy relationships cannot survive on the cuteness of the two of you alone. You can only ignore the world around you for so long before your friends and family stage an intervention.

Does that mean give up on the ooey-gooey stuff? No! It means making sure you are doing the things that keep your relationships strong, happy and most importantly healthy.

Things You Should Be Doing in Healthy Relationships:

1. Surviving time away from each other

It’s normal to want to spend 24/7 together. Is it a must? NO! You do not need to hang out with each other every minute of every day. Spending time apart is actually important. It helps strengthen a relationship.

2. Spending time with other people

Yes, other people. When you’re a couple it’s easy to forget the rest of the world. Remember that your friends and family still exist. They don’t want to be ignored because you have a new snuggle bunny. You should never give up one for the other. Finding a balance is what it’s all about. Making time for everyone will make a healthier, happier relationship.

3. Being Honest

Keep it real. Always speak your truth. Hiding your feelings? Don’t do it. Lying to each other? Definitely not worth it. Agreeing with them just to make it easier? Never works.

They gush about their unique love for the Ball-bearing Treehopper, and you’re all like…
“Ball-bearing Treehopper? OMG, it’s my fav too! I’ve seen every documentary about it on the discovery channel!!”


In a healthy relationship, you should feel comfortable disagreeing and saying no. They’ll probably wish you loved the Ball-bearing Treehopper as much as they do, but it’s totally cool if you don’t.

To read the rest of the blog and 7 more things head over to The hope Girls. 

New Site Update: Please Read


New site update.

As you know, we have moved to a new site thehopegirls.com.

Here’s a quick update on how it’s going:

The good!


We are still a part of the WordPress community. That means we still find you in the reader and keep up with what you’re posting. We can keep finding, following and connecting with new blogs.


The not so good!


When you like or follow our WordPress.com blog (onebridgeofhope), it doesn’t help us at our actual current site (thehopegirls.com). We need you to click on our link and come join our email list at our new site. Take some time to check it out. Leave a comment and let us know you’ve been there.

We love you all and appreciate your support so much.

We love our new site!

Self-hosted works great for us and the direction we are going. We have more control over what we can do.

We have received such great feedback. We cannot say thank you to enough to you for all the support you have been showing us. So many of you have come over and joined us and we appreciate that. You encourage us to keep going after our dreams.


Hope, Life, and Lots of Love,
Gabriella & Veronica
The Hope Girls

My Mom Read My Diary

BETRAYED ASKS, A person reading a diary

I know my mom read my diary. Why would she do that? I thought I could trust her and now I just feel so betrayed. I haven’t talked to her since because I don’t know how to handle it. There was nothing really bad in there, but I wrote about this girl I have a crush on. The thing is my mom doesn’t know I like girls. I tell her everything I just haven’t’ told her this yet. I know she won’t be upset, I just wasn’t ready. How do I handle this?


Hey Betrayed,

You have every right to be upset. Your mom should have respected your privacy. It’s hurtful to have your personal thoughts invaded.

You’ve always been able to trust her, so what happened?

Why did your mom read your diary now?

Parents want to know what’s going on.
They love you. If there’s not enough communication, parents feel shut out and worried. They have a responsibility to protect you. They’ll do whatever it takes to figure out if you’re hiding something. They have a responsibility to protect you.

Maybe your mom sensed there was something you weren’t telling her.
No, that doesn’t make it right. However, it possibly explains her decision to read your diary.

Now what?

It’s time to talk to your mom. The longer you wait, the more awkward it becomes.

Ask her straight up why she read your diary.Be honest about how it made you feel. Explain that your diary is where you work out your thoughts and emotions. You need to trust that she will respect that. Remind her that you have and will always tell her everything, but when you are ready. Let her know she should just come to you and ask about any concerns first.

You have every right to be upset right now. Don’t let that affect your relationship with your mom. She made a mistake. Remember, everyone makes mistakes.

Post originally published on The Hope Girls

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Can I Be His Friend and Stay Out of Trouble?

X ASKS, Two friends one is trouble

I have this friend and he’s pretty cool, but he causes trouble. Sometimes we get into stuff that I’m not really comfortable with.  I like hanging out with him, but I don’t want to always do the things he does. How can I be friends with him, but stay out of trouble? What should I do?


Hey X,

How much trouble is he on a scale of 1-5?


1 – He gets you out of your comfort zone and trying new things. It’s scary but safe fun.
5 – Does he put your life at risk? You could get hurt, hurt someone else, or go to jail.


Is he closer to a 5? You have two choices.


1. Start saying no.

If you want to keep this friendship, you have to be strong enough to say NO. Don’t hang out with him when he’s up to no good. Only go to places you know he can’t cause trouble. Don’t put yourself in situations where you might do something you’ll regret.

2. Find a new friend.

This might sound harsh. But you should never let someone determine what you do. If you can’t say no, or he doesn’t respect your choices, he’s not a good friend to keep in your life.

Either way, stand up for yourself. Don’t just follow along. You might even end up being a GOOD influence on him.


Post originally published on The Hope Girls


Ask your question.

DEAR HOPE: ASK THE HOPE GIRLS: He’s Had Sex and I Haven’t

Read Kels’ question and our advice at our new site thehopegirls.com


While you’re there check out our new site and don’t forget to subscribe.  If you already follow us here we still need you to subscribe to the new blog. It really helps us out on our new site.


Thanks bunches  

Hope, Fuzzies, and Lots of Love,
Gabriella & Veronica  The Hope Girls


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