Dear Hope: How Do I Tell My Best Friend I’m In Love With Him?

Best Friends

Dear Hope,

How am I supposed to tell my best friend that I’m in love him with him if I’m about 95% positive that he doesn’t feel the same way? We’ve been friends for about 6-7 years now and I’ve likes him a lot before but I just kept falling for him. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

 Dear “I’m in love with him”

First things first: Do you really like him? You need to figure out if you truly like him or is it just convenient because you’re good friends.  Are you feeling lonely and he is there? Is he someone you could genuinely see yourself dating?

Once you decide that yes, without a doubt you are into him, then it’s time to be honest.  I know it is hard, but you need to tell him.  It can be an uncomfortable conversation, but it’s necessary. Keeping something like that hidden is not fair to either one of you.

Why? Because if you keep it in, you will always wonder what if.  Plus, without having an answer or a place to put your feelings they will just keep growing for him.

You need to explain how you feel, while telling him you don’t expect anything in return.  That no matter what you want to continue to be friends.  Let him know that you are not trying to make it awkward, but it was hard holding your feelings in and it was important for you to share them.

Be prepared for his reaction:

  1. There is still that 5% chance he may feel the same way. (Then yay for you.  Take it slow and see where it goes.)
  2. He may not react at all and everything stays the same. (Sometimes it is easier for people to kind of just ignore things.)
  3. He may get freaked out and not want to talk to you for a while. (If this happens, let him know that you understand he needs some time but you still want to be friends.  Reassure him that you don’t expect anything other than his friendship.)

Be prepared for your reaction:  Once you tell him hopefully you will feel better knowing you got it out and knowing how he really feels.

  1. If he feels the same then you will be full of emotions, so again take it slow.
  2. It is possible that once you tell him, you might feel different or uncomfortable.  He might be ok with it, but it may be hard for you to be around him.  If that’s the case take some time to sort out your feelings.  Decide if you can handle a friendship with him even if he does not feel the same way about you.  For example if he starts dating someone new.

I know this can be awkward, but you can do it.  You need to get it out so you know what to do next.  Remember you have been friends for a long time and it’s worth figuring things out.

We would love to hear how things worked out.  Send us an email update.

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