Monthly Archives: July 2015

One Bad Choice

One Bad Choice

 

Have you seen the MTV show One Bad Choice

MTV describes it as “…a 10-episode series that explores the consequences of young people who made a single, terrible decision that irrevocably changed their lives forever.”

MTV is not joking.

Every episode centers on a young person telling their story. Just as the title says, they made ONE bad (very bad) decision that completely alters their lives.

This show is scary. It’s scary because it’s real.

Everyone reading this (and the girl writing this) knows what it is like to make a mistake. You understand how easy it can be to do the wrong thing.

Do you think about the consequences?

Usually bad decisions create a chain of events. Sometimes the outcomes of your choices will flip your life upside down. You might say to yourself, “well, that will never happen to me”. What if it does? What if there is no turning back? What happens when you are forced to live with the consequences of your choices?

I can tell you from experience, you will still make bad choices. Mistakes are a part of growing up and learning. But, you have the power to THINK! Learn from these people’s mistakes and consider the consequences of your decisions.

Check out the show!

Have you ever made one bad choice that completely altered your future?

Have you ever made one bad choice that could have been life changing?

Let me know in the comments!

-ttfn G –

Dear Hope: A Gift for My Mom

Dear Hope,mom's birthday
I need a gift for my mother’s birthday. I don’t know what to get her, because I have NO money. She is such a great mom. I just want to make this birthday special. Please help me.
– Giftless

Dear Giftless,
What makes a great gift is the thought behind it. Your mom wants to know how loved she is. Luckily, making someone feel special is free.

Here are a few suggestions to get your creativity going:
Write a letter expressing how you feel. Tell your mom that she is loved and appreciated.
Make her a cake or her favorite dessert.
Put together a photo collage.
Hang happy birthday signs everywhere.
Leave sweet little notes around the house for her to find. Surprise notes are fun, sweet and free!

That should give you a place to start. Be as creative as you want. You mom will love that you care so much.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Dear Hope: My Girlfriend is Cheating

Dear Hope,Cheating
This is going to sound crazy, but I think my girlfriend is cheating. Lately she has been hanging out with her best friend more than me. She says it’s cause her friend is moving and she wants to spend as much time with her as possible. I know her friend is moving, but I think maybe she is not with her all the time and she is with another guy. I asked her other friends and they think I’m crazy. They keep telling me how much she loves me, but idk. Is it ok if I check her phone to see if there are any messages from another guy? How can I tell for sure if she is cheating? It would hurt me so much if she is cheating.
– Chris

Dear Chris,
Let me get this out of the way first. NO, you cannot check her phone. That is her personal property. Unless she gives you permission, there is no reason to look at it. You want to snoop to catch her doing something wrong. Something you assume she is doing. How would she feel if she knew you were trying to go behind her back? How would you feel if you knew she was looking at YOUR phone?

Why are you questioning your girlfriend? From what you have written here, you have no reason to think she is cheating. It sounds like your main concern is that she is spending extra time with her friend. It’s understandable that they want to spend as much time together as possible. It shows your girlfriend is a loyal friend.

Think about why you might feel this way. Has she ever given you reason to distrust her? Trust is an important part of a relationship. False thoughts and jealousy start when there is no trust.

It seems trust is the issue, not cheating. Don’t assume the worst, especially when you have no signs of cheating. You should believe what your girlfriend is saying. Work on building trust into your relationship. When she hangs out with her friend, keep yourself busy. Don’t sit around thinking about what she might be doing. Keep reassuring yourself that she is with her friend.

If you continue to question her, it will be difficult maintaining a healthy relationship. Not having trust is unfair to her. She should be doing things without you. She should not have to worry that you won’t believe her.

1. Figure out why you don’t trust her.
2. Don’t snoop or blame her when there is no evidence.
3. Work on building trust or move on. You may need to move on.

Continue to work on trusting. If this relationship does not work out you will be better prepared next time.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Are You a Scaredy Cat?

fear glasses

The Yellow – Scaredy Cat Glasses

Do you wear scaredy cat glasses?

When you wear scaredy cat glasses, you see the world through your fear. You are afraid to take chances because it seems way too risky. You would rather play it safe than take a chance that potentially won’t work out.

Here are a few ways to tell if you wear scaredy cat glasses:
• You worry about the “what ifs”? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I look stupid? What if I suck? What if I fail? What if I get hurt? The list goes on and on.
• You focus more on your fear than on the potential reward of stepping out of your comfort zone.
• You would rather not try at all than risk it. Better safe than sorry.
• You don’t like to try new things.
• You feel like fear is holding you back from great experiences.

Does any of this sound like you? If it does, take OFF the scaredy cat glasses.

Seeing the world through fear means, you are not seeing things clearly!

Most of the time, amazing things are just beyond your comfort zone.

Here’s the catch: you will never know if you don’t take a chance!

YES, risks can be scary. But they are worth it!

What if the thing you are most afraid of ends up being the thing you are great at.
Your biggest fear could be your passion, your success, your joy!

Whether it works out or not, you will be proud of yourself for stretching your limits and trying.

I am so guilty of wearing these glasses. In reality, I let the glasses wear me. Seeing the world through fear has stopped me from so much. Instead of being bold, I have sat on the sidelines too many times wishing I took the fear glasses off. I don’t want to miss out because of fear.

Everyone has fear. It happens. It doesn’t mean you are weak or not capable of great things. It means you have an opportunity to be bold.

Choose to take chances despite your fears!

Don’t wear those glasses. Don’t let your fear guide you and your choices.
Choose to look at things through a different perspective.

– ttfn G –

Dear Hope: Rockin’ Long Distance

Dear Hope,long distance relationship
I’m excited to be starting college in the fall. I’m not excited to be 1,000 miles away from my boyfriend. We will be spending the summer together and then doing the long distance thing. We know it won’t be easy, but we love each other so it’s worth it. Do you have any tips to make it easier?
– RockinLongDistance

Dear RockinLongDistance,
Although it can be difficult for long distance relationships to survive, it’s not impossible. The two main ingredients are effort and trust.

Effort
It takes work to keep any relationship together. But, it can take an extra dose of effort for long distance relationships. Not only can time be an issue, you now have miles between you. As with any couple, if the relationship is healthy, the effort is worth it. If the effort starts to become a burden, it might be time to rethink things.

Trust
Trusting each other is important. Jealousy is less likely when you have trust. The goal is for you both to have a good college experience while maintaining your relationship. That can be difficult if either of you are worrying about what the other person is doing.

4 TIPS

Tip #1 Remember the little things:
The little things you do for each other matter in a big way. Just quick ways to say I care and you’re on my mind.
• Send good morning or goodnight texts.
• Send a quick “You’ve got this!” text, for their next exam.
• Keep each other company during all-night study sessions. (text, Skype, FaceTime)
• Insert your idea here ______________ Be creative! You’ve got this!
You will both feel special when you remember the little things. With busy schedules, sometimes all you have time for are the little things.

Tip #2 To Do List:
Keep a list of the things you would like to do the next time you see each other. Coming up with ideas is a fun thing to do together. It also gives you something to look forward to.

Tip #3 Date Night:
Don’t forget to have dates. Spending quality time with each other is important.
• Talk on the phone while watching the same movie on Netflix.
• Have the same kind of pizza delivered to your rooms.
• Have romantic dinners over Skype.
Get as creative as you want when planning your date night.

Tip #4 Be Realistic:
Life will change. You will both be starting a new adventure. You will be meeting new people and experiencing new things. Your schedules will probably be different. Being realistic means knowing the other person may not be available when you need them. It also means understanding that the other person will be having a life separate from yours. No one should feel guilty for having his or her college experience.

Now that you have read the 4 tips, forget them until school starts.
It’s summer! Go make some great memories. Don’t put all your focus on the fall. Have fun and take tons of pics. Enjoy your time together!

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

You Are Strong, Beautiful, and Confident

Beautiful Confident

Today was one of those days. I sat in front of the mirror while I getting ready and I didn’t love what I saw. I started complaining about how stupid my hair looked. I became self-conscious about a big pimple on my forehead. I started looking at every flaw on my body and freaking out for no reason.

How do you feel after you pick yourself apart like that?

I always feel weird. It puts me in a bad mood and seriously messes with my confidence. I even start to feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

Those negative feelings you get when focusing on your flaws SUCK!

No one wants to feel that way. Those feelings don’t usually just go away, but they aren’t meant to stay either.

I tried something weird today.

For every negative comment I said about myself, I said something I like about myself.

I know it sounds kinda ridiculous, but it helped turn my mood around. I even named the pimple on my forehead Pepe’. He had a feisty personality and a French accent. It made me laugh and not worry so much.

You are going to have bad days. You won’t love the way you look every single day of your life. If you are feeling weird about the way you look or self conscious, you can’t ignore those feelings. It is okay to acknowledge the way you feel. The secret is to not let those mean thoughts win.

Those so called flaws and weird feelings, are not who you are. For every negative thing you say to yourself, replace it with a positive thing.  

You have the power to smile instead of stress. You have the power to be your own supporter instead of your own worst enemy. You have the power to love what you see in the mirror.

Remind yourself that there is more to who you are!

If you aren’t sure what positive things to say, here are some of the things I have used and you should try:

I am strong
I am beautiful
I am confident
I am brave

Or you could always just name your pimples and strike up a conversation….don’t judge me.

– ttfn G –

Dear Hope: My Family is in Debt

Dear Hope,dear hope

What do I do if my family is $100,000 in debt? My dad owns his own business and works from home, my mom doesn’t work even though she should, I am a recent high school graduate working thirty hours a week (usually more) at minimum wage, and my brother is 12. I just don’t know what to do, I’m in school right now and I’m looking for a second job. My depression has come back after a year of being really good and I need more therapy again like twice a week and my mom was telling me about how she sacrifices therapy so we have more money and yeah. I just feel terrible.

Thank you.
CJ

Dear CJ,
Helping your family is admirable, but you cannot take on all the responsibility. It is not your job to get your parents out of debt. Getting out of debt can take time.

Your dad runs his own business which means he is capable of coming up with a plan of action. Talk to him and see what he is thinking. Figure out some ways you can help that does not involve you getting a second job. You already have a full load with school and work. Even though your family is in debt, money is not always the answer. Being emotionally supportive is a positive way to help your family when you are not able to give money.

One way to help your family is being there for your brother. Let your brother know you are there for him. Give him a chance to talk about how he feels. Reassure him that his feelings, good or bad, are valid. Spend some time just having fun with him. Having fun is free.

Try not to become angry with your mom. Even though you may not agree with her choices, it’s her decision. She is the only one who can decide when and if she gets a job.

Supporting yourself is just as important as supporting your family. If you worry too much and exhaust yourself, you won’t be any help to anyone.

If you are having feelings of depression, it is possible you can get free therapy.

Call your previous therapist. They might be able to offer some advice on what to do. They may know about a free clinic or offer discounted prices.
Talk to your school. Most schools have resources available. Sometimes they offer counseling or can lead you in the right direction to getting help.
If you do not get what you need at school call the local mental health clinic for your city.
Think about the things that helped you overcome your depression a year ago. Are there any techniques you can use now that might help?

Emotionally support and love your family, but remember that you are not responsible for fixing all of their problems. You need to support yourself. Have patience with yourself and your family. It takes time, but you’re strong and your family will get through this.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Hugs and Questions

Virtual Hugs

If we could reach through this screen and hug you all right now, we would!

Thank you so much for being wonderful and sharing the love with us!

We have been nominated for so many awards lately we are not able to do them. We still wanted to make a post to tell you how grateful we are (which is a lot by the way). We also thought we would pick a few questions from some of the awards and answer them for fun.

What is your favorite Disney movie?

Gabriella: I can’t pick just one! The Lion King has always been one of my favorites! I also love The Little Mermaid because those are some of my favorite songs to sing.

Veronica: This is a lesser known movie but my favorite is Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

You can go anywhere in the world for free. Where would you go?

Gabriella: Italy! Going to Italy has always been a dream!

Veronica: I would want to travel all over Italy with my daughter, Gabriella.

Would you ever get a tattoo? If so, what would it be of and why?

Gabriella: I would definitely get a tattoo. I have thought about what I want to get for a while. I am still not sure. I do know I want something meaningful and representative of who I am.
Veronica: Yes, I would get a tattoo. I haven’t gotten one yet, but I have always wanted one. Getting a tattoo is totally a personal choice. I would want to get something in honor of my daughter and my journey through life.
Gabriella: Maybe adorable mother daughter tattoos?

What was your favorite subject in school and why?

Gabriella: My favorite would have to be English, but I like parts of every subject. I enjoy learning little bits of everything.
Veronica: My favorite subject in school was math. I actually thought it was fun. Algebra was my favorite, but I never liked geometry.

What is the main purpose of your blog?

Gabriella & Veronica: YOU! All of you are what this blog is about.

– ttfn G –   – NBL V –