Dear Hope: I Want To Say Yes To A Relationship
I’m a 17 year old girl and my life is amazing.. but the best part is that there is this guy who is genuinely interested in me. I really wanna go ahead and say yes to a relationship. I spoke to my mom about it, and she thinks that all this is not for people like us. (My mom is kinda conservative) she thinks I’m wasting my study years in things like relationships.
do you have any advice 4 me??
It’s awesome that your life is amazing! I love hearing that.
As exciting as it is to be at the beginning stages of a relationship, you need mom’s approval. I wouldn’t suggest hiding it because it will only make things worse. Sneaking around and lying is not a good idea. You don’t want the guilt of going behind your mom’s back.
I think you need to talk to your mom again. I know you already tried that but give it another shot.
Before you talk to her, plan what you want to say.
• Acknowledge her concerns. Let her know that you understand where she is coming from and that your study years are important to you, also. I think you should also address her saying “it’s not for people like us”. Put her fears at ease. Let her know you have no plans of running off and doing something crazy. You just want a chance to date this guy.
• Explain that in order to grow, you need life experiences. Chances for you to make smart decisions on your own. Tell her you will always value her opinion and thank her for the amazing job she is doing.
• Compromise with her. Come with a plan that works for both of you.
For example: Only going out on weekends and keeping weekdays for studying.
Not staying up all night texting.
She gets to meet him.
Invite him over to hang out so she can see everything is fine.
These things give you a chance to show her you will do your best to make it work.
Stay calm even if she gets upset and show her the wonderful person she raised. This is not the time to get angry and say something you could regret.
There is no guarantee she will say yes, but it’s worth a try. If she does say no, you should probably let it go (for now). Give her some time (a few weeks or so) then ask her if you can discuss it again.
Continue to show her that you are ready. Would love to hear how it works out!
Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.