Dear Hope: My Girlfriend is Flirty

Dear Hope,Flirt Girlfriend
My girlfriend is flirty. She says I’m the most beautiful girl she has ever seen, but I still get jealous. The thing is she is super outgoing and I’m not like that. I love her and I know she loves me, but can I ask her to stop flirting?
– Shy

Dear Shy,
I’m not completely clear if you’re saying she is really flirty or just outgoing. Is she just being friendly and talking to everyone or is she actually flirting with them?

There is a difference. If she is just being charming, friendly and talkative then you may need to look at your own insecurities. Sometimes when a shy person dates an outgoing person, it can be hard to always understand each other. You have to be secure with yourself. You love her and wouldn’t want her to stop being who she is. You have to realize she will always be talkative and outgoing.

Flirty is more an act of trying to attract someone’s attention. Although it may be harmless and not mean anything, it can be uncomfortable for the other person in the relationship.

Either way, flirty or outgoing, you need to have a talk (a nice calm talk). If she has given you no reason to mistrust her, then keep it simple. Let her know that you love her personality, but it makes you a little jealous. Let her know that when you’re out, you would like her to focus on just the two of you sometimes.

You cannot expect her to change. Work on becoming more confident and secure in yourself.
If it becomes too much for you or she doesn’t get it, you might have to reevaluate your relationship.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

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