Dear Hope: It’s Time for Change

Change

Hi everyone!
You may have noticed we haven’t been answering as many Dear Hope questions lately! We promise, we have a good reason!

We are busy making changes.

Lots of changes. It’s scary. It’s overwhelming. But like the quote says, there is no growth without change.

We will definitely keep you updated on what’s happening. We are excited!  Sooo excited!

Thank you for your fantastic support. You, as always, are amazing.

Dear Hope: Summer Job

Dear Hope,teen at summer job
I’m thinking about getting a job this summer. I asked my mom about it and she said I could do what I want. She also said she thinks I won’t like it. She thinks I will regret it because I will want to be lazy and have fun instead of going to work. I think she’s wrong. I’m not really a lazy person, plus both my best friends are not going to be here all summer. One of my friends is going to Europe with her dad and the other is going to art camp. I don’t have any plans so I thought I could get a job and earn some money. What do you think? Should I get a summer job?
– Jen

Dear Jen,
I think it sounds like a great idea. It will give you something to do and focus on during the summer. Especially since your friends will be away. Earning money is a bonus.

You will still have plenty of time to be “lazy” if you want. You can also meet new people at a job. You may even find someone you can hang out with this summer to get in some of that “fun”.

Go for it! Take on that summer job.

Check out these Summer Job Tips and 100 Fun and Lucrative Summer Jobs for Teens

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Our Favorites April

It’s April, it’s April, it’s April!

How’s everyone doing? I hope you are all doing well and taking good care of yourself.

Are you taking enough time for yourself?

It’s important to make sure you are taken care of. Sleep in on a Saturday, treat yourself to your fav desert, or just dance alone in your room. Do whatever works, just don’t forget YOU.

We took a mini vacay in March where we spent some time taking care of ourselves. We were relaxing, finishing books we’ve put off reading, and my fav writing in my journal. With school, work and blogging we don’t get to do those things often.

We saw our cousin get married! The wedding was beautiful and we are beyond happy for her. We also met our new baby cousin. He was sooo adorable and cuddly like a puppy.

Gabbie Holding Baby

Each day is a beautiful new start.

Make the most of it and don’t forget to take care of YOU.

Some of our fav ways:

Fav Comfy: Sock It to Me socks. Sock It to Me creates fun and funky socks. They not only keep your feet warm and cozy, they make you smile every time you look down. Check out their site for a ton of cute designs.

Fav Treat Yo-self: Cookie Dough Dip. Get some friends together to hang out. Then seriously break out this dip. Delish!!!

Image by Delish

Fav Face Treat:

 

Fav Saying: Okay, I had to put two because they are so YES right now.

 

Today I Choose Me Quote

I Froget Quote

 

Fav Site: Goodreads! It is the world’s largest site for readers and book recommendations. Read a book! It’s a great way to nourish your mind and to take some time for yourself.

Take Care of Yourself

Dear Hope: How Can I Ease The Pain?

Dear Hope,
I lost my fiancee in January this year. It was a horrible start to the year and I’m not getting better I feel like I’m stuck in the same place I was 2 months ago. I feel sad and upset all the time and I just wish that it never happened. Every time I laugh or feel happy, I can’t help but think that I’m never going to see him again. I just want to be able to get through the day without thinking about morbid things and without getting so upset I want to cry. I was hit by denial in the worst way and I still feel like I’m still denying it sometimes. People are telling me to get help but I know there is no one that can help me but myself. Please tell me how I can ease the pain and get through a day happily.
Thank you.
– SK

Dear SK,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am sorry you had to start your year this way.

It is important for you to understand there is no right or wrong way for you to feel right now. Handling the loss of someone you love is incredibly hard.

Grief has no rules or timeline.
It has only been two months. Two months are not that long. It can take a long time to figure out a new way to live without him being there. It’s different for each person and how you grieve is different for each person. No one can completely understand how you feel. How you heal might look different from how others around you heal.

Grief can be messy and confusing.
Guilt, denial, anger, and happiness are parts of the grieving process. It’s normal to be happy one moment and overwhelmingly sad the next. It can change day-to-day or minute to minute. Don’t feel bad about how you feel. Allow yourself to experience these emotions. You are still learning how to cope with this and how to move forward.

When you’re having a hard moment, take a few deep breaths and try to redirect your thoughts. Think about happy times or treasured memories. If that feels like too much, try to focus on something else. Turn on a new song or flip through a magazine. I’m not trying to make it seem light, but sometimes it can help to distract yourself with something light and easy. Have distractions planned or ready.Find and do things you enjoy like painting, writing, or jogging. These types of activities can help you work through your emotions.

Stress like this can take a big toll on you. Please make sure you are eating and getting good rest. Concentrating on yourself and going about your daily routine can be very calming.

Don’t go through this alone.

I know you said there is no one that can help you but yourself. It’s true that your healing will be up to you. It will take place in your timing. HOWEVER, getting help can simply mean having support. It does not mean someone will fix you. It means you have others who are there for you.
You could join a support group. It can be comforting to share your feelings with people who have also experienced a loss.

I’m glad you reached out. Don’t be ashamed if you decide you do need help. Grief counselors are professionals that know how to help.

I’m so sorry. There are no words I can type that will tell you how to ease the pain. At some point, you will you start to notice that you have more good moments or less sad moments.
Allow yourself the time it takes, however long that is. You are in our thoughts.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Dear Hope: Too Emotional

Dear Hope,emotional
I like to share my feelings and I cry about things. Do you think it’s a problem being too emotional? My friends say that I am. Can you give me a way to control my feelings more when I need to?
– Too Emotional

Dear Too Emotional,
I’m not sure what you mean by “too emotional”. It sounds like you openly share your feelings and that you’re not embarrassed to cry. Those are good traits. I don’t know why so many people are taught to hide their feelings. To keep them neatly tucked away. It makes their feelings pile up, get confusing and come spilling out in some huge explosive way.

Because so many people feel like sharing feelings is not a good idea, they get uncomfortable when someone else shows emotion. Your friends probably don’t know how to react. They don’t know what to say or if they should help you in any way. It can help to let your friends know what you’re feeling and why. For example, you could say, “I am sad right now, but I’m or okay,” or “I could use a friend to talk to or a hug”. Understanding what you need can help them become more comfortable.

There may be moments when it’s not the right time to express your feelings, but never stop yourself from feeling them. Your feelings are a part of who you are. You shouldn’t ignore them or shut them off. In these moments, the best thing to do is breathe. Quiet yourself and take a few deep breaths. If you can, leave the situation for a few minutes. Give yourself time to process, get angry or shed a few tears.

Everyone handles their feelings in their own way. You be you, and don’t be embarrassed about being “emotional”.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Our Favorites March

Well hello there March, so glad you made it.

Yay, March means spring is just around the corner. Thank goodness because I am ready. I love spring weather. Not too cold, not too hot. Yes Goldilocks, it’s just right. just right

This is one of those times when Gabriella and I don’t agree. She loves the cold weather.

I’ll stick with spring thank you very much and it’s perfect for our upcoming trip.

We are hearing wedding bells. Our amazing cousin is getting married this month! She found an awesome guy and we are beyond happy for her. We can’t wait to go to her wedding.

But first I had to decide what to wear. Why is that always the hardest part to figure out? At least for me it is.

So I headed over to laurenconrad.com. She explains all the dress codes and gives a list of dos and don’ts when picking an outfit for a wedding. Thanks for the help Lauren! Ok, the invitation said casual, but it’s still a wedding. I finally found the perfect floral dress. Now I am officially ready to go.

We also get to meet our newest family member. The bride’s sister just had a baby boy. We have a brand new cousin. I feel some baby snuggling time coming on.

Thinking about our trip and our family brings a big smile to my face.
Veronica

Here’s what else makes us smile

Fav Indulge: Brownie Cookie Dough Sandwiches. Um…yes!

 

Veronica’s Fav Sneak Attack:

dog vs cat

Gabriella’s Fav View: I took this on an amazing beach trip. I wish I was there now!

Ocean View

Fav Aww: 

Have an amazzzzing March! What are you smiling about right now?

Dear Hope: I Need To Go To This Concert

Dear Hope,concert road trip
I need your help convincing my mom to let me go to a concert with my friends. When I asked her if I could go, she initially said yes. But when I told her it was three hours away she freaked out and said no. She feels like it’s not safe for four girls to be driving there alone.

When I talked to my friends, they said their moms said no too, but then one of their moms offered to take us. She said she would drive us there and back and be with us the whole time. We really want to go this concert so we decided we would be ok with her going.

So we all bought tickets. My mom had said yes at first so I figured it would be ok. Her only problem was us being alone. When I tried to tell her, she would not listen to me. She said I already said no and that’s that. She’s still mad because we got into a big argument about it the last time. But what do I do now? I want to go sooooo bad and I’ve already bought the ticket. HELP I need to go to this concert. If I don’t get to go I don’t know what I’ll do. I love them so much.
– UpsetFan

Dear UpsetFan,
I don’t think it’s going to be easy to get your mom to turn her no into a yes. Especially since you bought your ticket without her permission. Prepare yourself for the fact that she might not change her mind.

That said, I have two ideas you can try.

One:
Write her a letter. You’ve tried talking and that’s not working. She is not willing to hear you right now Instead, write out what you want to say. Start with a BIG apology. Apologize for the argument you had. Recognize that you were wrong for buying the ticket without her permission. Then explain the situation and really highlight that an adult will be going with you. Don’t forget to add an I love you and a thank you.

After you have written it, leave it someone you know she will see it. Then wait. Give her a few days to read it. Hopefully she will get back to you soon. Don’t pressure her or bug her about it, just wait it out.

Two:
This is somewhat sneaky, but I think it will work. Ask the mom that has offered to go with you if she would be willing to call your mom. They can talk adult to adult. Your friend’s mom can explain that she was also against it at first, until she decided to chaperone. She can let her know that she will be with you the whole time. Your mom will have a harder time saying no to another parent.

I personally like choice one. I think it’s better if you can work things out with your mom yourself. However, if that’s not working choice two is a winner.

Bonus tip: Write the letter and try working it out AND let her talk to your friend’s mom. She will not only see you are making an effort to do the right thing, but she will also get reassurance from another adult.

Good luck and enjoy the concert.

Just a side note: If you don’t get to go it’s not the end of the world. Don’t stay angry at your mom. It’s not worth it. Be calm and show your maturity so she will be more willing to let you go the next time.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Beautify Your Confidence

Beauty Hack

So a few days ago, my friend Amanda and I got together to “study” (and by study I clearly mean eat snacks and watch YouTube videos). We were deep into beauty hacks when my friend started saying she isn’t “pretty enough” to pull off these looks.

WHAT?!?

Amanda is gorgeous! I don’t understand how she gets her hair to be so cute every day. Not to mention, she is one of the sweetest people EVER. How does she not realize how beautiful she is?

She compliments me all the time, but when I tell her how amazing she is, she doesn’t believe it. I started to realize that I am guilty of that too sometimes. It is easy to look at these beauty vloggers and see them as perfect. It is easy to see all the beautiful features in your best friend. But for some reason, it is hard to recognize those amazing things in ourselves.

All this studying *ahem* YouTube watching reminded me that we need to add CONFIDENCE to our beauty routines.

Feeling beautiful is about knowing within YOURSELF that you ARE beautiful. The power to feel good about yourself lies within YOU.

About a year ago, I posted The Essential Step You Need in Your Beauty Routine.

I wanted to link it in this post and share it again because it is so important. It is my sticky note beauty hack to beautify your confidence.

You take time on the way you look. Don’t forget to take time on the way you feel about yourself.

Intrigued? You should be.

Go check out the link above and remember you ARE beautiful.

Dear Hope: Am I a Bad Girlfriend

Dear Hope,bad-girlfriend
I don’t know what to do about my boyfriend. My friends always see him hanging out with other girls and when I ask him about it he says their just jealous, but I really don’t think they are. My friends have always supported me and been there for me. I believe them when they say they see him with other girls, but I love him. Also when I ask him about it, he says he could get any of those girls anytime so I better be nice to him. I am nice, but maybe I’m not doing enough. I’m worried he will go with one of those girls. What should I do?
– Bad Girlfriend

Dear Bad Girlfriend,
You don’t sound like a bad girlfriend to me. He sounds like a bad boyfriend.

There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend talking to other girls. If he is attempting to date them, that’s a problem.

You have always trusted your friends. If what they are telling you it doesn’t’ feel right, you should probably listen. Also, listen to your gut. You know things don’t feel right.

It sounds like he does not respect you. I think you need to take some time to figure out what is best for YOU. Is a boyfriend that says he can replace you easily the right guy for you? I think not.

I know it’s hard to walk away. It’s understandable you love him. But it’s time to love yourself just as much. Lean on your friends. It sounds like they want what is best for you. They will support you and help you move on.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Our Favorites February

Happy February!

bee our valentine

Here are some of our fav ways to show love:

Fav Kisses: Hershey Kisses! Show your boo some love. Honestly, everyone loves chocolate.

hershey kisses

Fav Boost: Love yo self.

owl you need is love

Fav Movie Must: Red Velvet Popcorn Popcorn goes with movies! Duh! Show your popcorn (and your movie night date) some love by mixing it up with red velvet cake! Looks amazing and sounds delicious!

sarahhearts.com

Fav Thoughtful: Show the planet some love!

http://content.jwplatform.com/previews/e88k8iIP-2twGZ9Mp

donut

How do YOU show love?

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